New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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