the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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