I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
