people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
