My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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