His pubic hair was longer than his dick
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize