So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
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There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
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DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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