i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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