If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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