Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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