she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
