i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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