Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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