I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
