Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
