Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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