It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
