You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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