and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I am available for nakedness
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
