This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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