A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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