Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
