I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
