i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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