Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
