The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
