Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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