Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
