Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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