Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I supernannyed him into submission
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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