So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So squirting runs in the family.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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