You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
