is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
