Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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