there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
