I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
