if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize