He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
