I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
