Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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