perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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