I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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