dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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