the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize