He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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