If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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