You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
