It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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