Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
