I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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