we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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