Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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