no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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