yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
