You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
