I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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