it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
