am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
