I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You are a genius and a whore.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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