We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize