Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
